hey, blog.. how are you? am not feeling all well... mentally and physically. sigh! sitting on my bed, covered with my blanket, books on the right, color pencils on the left, lappie and pen with sketch book infront. i am trying to sketch something out. with runny nose and teary eyes! all thanks to my sinus! sigh -.-" so, i thot this month will be better than other months. at least this month is the best. but still.. humm blog am tired of whatsoever stuff that happening around me. i feel like moving to other place. start a new life and all :P how i wish this life is a movie. i can just pack my stuff, book a one way plane ticket to somewhere far away from here. be someone new and have new life! but no, i have to back in ugly reality. this is not hollywood movie or even low budget movie. this is the real life! in the time like this, i really miss my girls. i have no idea what is friends means? i never had one and i thought i found one. but guess, i never will find one. but i do hope one day my nutcracker prince is my best and close friend forever. i am tired with unnecessary stuff. that's why i never want to be close to anybody else, besides my girls, heny and sandy. love them the most. i can survive only on my own. i've been strong enough to lived my life alone here and i'll carry on like that. well, of course i do love to have lots of friends but i'll have to be selective for who is the faithful friends that near to me and dear to me. but i got to admit, the gift from Daddy this whole year despite my ugly relationship and any other stuff, He brings me a friend who always there to listen to me. for me he is a gift eventho he does or doesn't feel the same way. but i treasure it. i can be bitchy sometimes but i love him as my dearest friend here. well, but whatever comes it will goes away. time for me to let myself be mature and stand up alone :)
