. You are good .

v sent me this link and i am listening to the song. i feel blessed, joy and peace :) and i recalled what i've been thru last year and what is happening this new year up until today. how lots of things changed me and how i become stronger each day. i still remember how Daddy J hold my hand each day and help me gone thru all the sadness. i am happy to know Him, to have Him in my life up until today. i am imperfect, i am a kid with lots of sin but yet He is still nice to me. i love you Daddy and thank you for last year.

You are good, You are goodWhen there's nothing good in meYou are love, You are loveOn display for all to seeYou are light, You are lightWhen the darkness closes inYou are hope, You are hopeYou have covered all my sin
You are peace, You are peaceWhen my fear is cripplingYou are true, You are trueEven in my wanderingYou are joy, You are joyYou're the reason that I singYou are life, You are life,In You death has lost its sting
Oh, I'm running to Your arms,I'm running to Your armsThe riches of Your loveWill always be enoughNothing compares to Your embraceLight of the world forever reign
You are more, You are moreThan my words will ever sayYou are Lord, You are LordAll creation will proclaimYou are here, You are hereIn Your presence I'm made wholeYou are God, You are GodOf all else I'm letting go
Oh, I'm running to Your armsI'm running to Your armsThe riches of Your loveWill always be enoughNothing compares to Your embraceLight of the world forever reign
My heart will singno other NameJesus, Jesus
Oh, I'm running to Your armsI'm running to Your armsThe riches of Your loveWill always be enoughNothing compares to Your embraceLight of the world forever reign

apapun yang terjadi dalam hidupku ini
tak pernah ku ragukan kasihMu Tuhan
lewat gunung yang tinggi
lewat lembah yang curam
Kau berfirman dan sembuhkanku
Kau bersabda dan slamatkanku
tak ada yang mustahil bagiMu
Yesus ku percaya padaMu

. small enough .

oh, great god, be small enough to hear me now
there were times when i was crying
from the dark of daniel's den
and i have asked you once or twice
if you would part the sea again
but tonight i do not need a fiery pillar in the sky
just wanna know you're gonna hold me if i start to cry
oh, great god, be small enough to hear me now

oh, great god, be close enough to feel you now
there have been moments when i could not
face goliath on my own
and how could i forget we've marched around
our share of jerichos
but i will not be setting out a fleece for you tonight
just wanna know that everything will be alright
oh great god, be close enough to feel you now

all praise and all honor be
to the god of ancient mysteries
whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our history
but tonight my heart is heavy
and i cannot keep from whispering this prayer
"are you there?"

and i know you could leave writing on the wall
thats just for me
or send wisdom while i'm sleeping,
like in solomon's sweet dreams
but i don't need the strength of samson
or a chariot in the end
just want to know that you still know how many hairs
are on my head
oh great god, be small enough to hear me now

in the time like this, i really need You to hold my hand Dear Daddy...

. you are beautiful .

heya!! happy new year! i haven't think about what is my resolution yet. well, hmmm i did think about them but i haven't write it down properly yet. i know, the post we should write about this early year should be the post that contains happy thoughts! i couldn't bear but need to post this now. tragic i should say... about those beautiful girls who wanted to be "thin" and for some who have no idea what they are been thru and for some who has the disease called anorexic. sad real sad poor real poor. i've heard about those anorexic models on the catwalk, as well as seen some photos from internet back then when i was still sit on my school chair. first, i thought they were just photoshoped pictures but they were not. they are all real! my friend, julia reminds me again about this case when we were happily shopping before new year. i went to check about this french model who died at her 28 age because of anorexic. she is isabelle caro. she was famous for the zero size antianorexic campaign. poor her i should said. i would have cried if i wasn't at my office when i watched the youtube video. "the price of beauty" where jessica simpson on it. that was sad. then, i am so curious about this anorexic models and i keep on typing her name and read some article and saw some of her pictures. finally, i stumbled upon this blog called medusa and i learn alot about there are lots of bright young beautiful girls who suffer under this case.

AND THIS ARTICLE CAUGHT MY EYES, TO GIRL WHO SAID SHE WANTS TO BE ANOREXIC...

those girls who want to be "thin" please think about it twice. -.-" you are worth more than that. human born beautiful, you are beautiful!

So God created mankind in his own image,in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

blah blah blah bleh

i feel so messed up recently and yes! my cough is getting worst and worst it makes my head feel lil painful. hate that. i couldn't really sleep well last night. humm thanks for my understanding sister who bring me cup of water and the medicine that i forget to take -.-" in the middle of my about to sleep but cannot sleep time. yeah, i always forget to take my medicine eversince i was little.

i start to promise myself that i will treat this poor not so little me better. so what, if other better than me? that's why i need to work harder and try to push all personal matter aside! sometimes, it hurts when you care too much about someone but they are not doing the same thing. well, i learn that i was wrong. we won't feel hurt if we didn't expect anything in return. so.. yeah i did expect something in return from certain people. that's why i am wrong here. i am not suppose to do that and it hurts when someone, really close to you said that they wanted to write an article about you but don't know how to... i always think, when you close to someone, what you remember about them are all the good stuff.. the happi and nice moment that you guys had but seems like... me and that certain friend we don't have that.. at least that friend doesn't have what i felt. it hurts but it's okay. it doesn't really matter anymore anyway... because you know what is wrong with you.

forgive me for my sudden emo. i hate that i feel this way. that is why i must change! try to be better and one day there's someone who will really appreciate me.

btw.. i really miss marsha :( i wouldn't be like this if she is here. she is a really good friend ever to me.

thank God for all He gave to me as well as those days when i felt hurt and stress and confuse. anything happened for a reason.

.messy messy me.

i feel so messed up these whole week. i couldn't finish fixing my portfolio, have dateline for the design work, my design sucks! my body has been weak for this whole week and i have personal prob with my friend. i just feel this world doesn't like me anymore. Lord, is it because i didn't attend the church services =( i am sorry. but i know you wouldn't be so cruel. forgive me to be a bad daughter of yours.... i am longing for your words and love Daddy. i feel lonely. i feel cold and sad. i don't like this feeling. i feel confuse and i need You to hold my hand again and walk me to the right path. ='(

how are you, guys? =) i wish you all happy and incredibly in a good shape. recently, i feel so happy! i love my life, most of all i love my Daddy J. i feel like He answer all my prayers. last week, i began to design stuff for my friend from indonesia. she'll look for the clients and she will deal with all the production and i'll just dealing with all the design. finally! then, i met sokkuan who is incredibly nice, willing to help me in improving my portfolio. and finally, my gm increase my salary. my sister got her spass approved. isn't this amazing?? i got to thanks my "bro" and thanks Daddy J for that. i love you Daddy =D.

.give thanks.

i had rough days these few months. starts from there to here. i feel like shit sometimes and i just want to shout out loud so that the world would notice me and Daddy J could hear me. i wish i can get better job and especially the job that i really love. i learnt alot from this current job well.. mentally. my mom told me to endure it and just put my heart on it. eventho i don;t like it. i feel like crying sometimes.. i feel like this has no meaning. it happens again about my personal life. i might or might not be with the one i care. i feels like Daddy J been testing me. see if i can gone thru this state.

yesterday service really woke me up. instead of keep on complaining, i should give thanks to the mighty Lord for He who gave me this breath of life and allowed me to sit right here and typing this. i always blind and never look around me. never look at how lucky i am with this life, my parents, my sisters, him, my best friends. eventho i don't get what i want, that doesn't mean i won't get it one day. i just need to work harder as God has His own plan for me. i am sure that plan is as beautiful as the flowers and butterflies that He created. forgive me Lord for being so selfish.

"You turned my wailing into dancing. You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever."