. emoticon .

okay, the not so positive post again. have you ever feel you sux? yes, i always feel that way. everyday and right at this moment i feel that too. how should i improve my attitude? my lifestyle? my silly old brain? my thinking? my expectation? my work? my creativity? my job? my career? my financial? my relationship with friends? my relationship with my sisters? my relationship with people around me? oh! what should i do? my head is buzzing right now. frankly speaking i am lost! and i try not to write something sad on my blog after i read this article on elle magazine website!

"Ask E. Jean: 25 Things Every Woman Should Know"

"8. Don’t read blogs written by unhappy, spiteful people. Bad blogs will mangle your mood. Instead, spend an hour a day with your Moleskine notebook, connecting deeply with your own spiteful thoughts. At least they’ll be original. And P.S.: Anyone can make history. Only a great woman can tweet it." oh my, i love what she wrote!

i paused for a while and chatting with friends on facebook and shared some stuff and then, talked some nonsense and craps and now i feel better :D and hey, pardon my rudeness but i am addicted to this emoticon guy hahaha i call it middle finger guy :P and i got few version on my phone!

凸(˘̶˛ ˘̶)凸

i've been sending middle finger guy to friends well, just the friends who i know can jokes ;p hahaha! especially v! we have the middle finger emoticon "fight" lol! and my sisters as well... hahahah! anw, finished talking craps!

. wandering around .

christmas is just around the corner and why do i feel so lonely when i am not even alone. mister rain is still here visiting singapore. seems like he loves me so much that he keeps on dropping the rains on my head. now i feel a little bit head ache. i should remain healthy for this few weeks until next year. i am going to visit my girls soon. boy, i miss them so so so so much. finally i finished the christmas gift shopping. tiring! i never felt this tired before. christmas shopping should be fun. but somehow i just didn't feel that way. i think because of the tiredness and head ache.

what have gotten into me again? i wonder. sigh. there is something inside my head that i couldn't say it outloud. i am sad whenever i think about that. what to do? i am a girl with expectation. you can't change me nor i can change myself. and aslo i can't deny but still feel sad over the christmas dinner that never happened. oh boy, here i go again all feel emotional. sigh!

. thank you .

everything about yesterday is awesome :) yes, it has to be. it is the new page of my life. starting from my lovely four little sisters surprised me with their love, til now it is still awesome. i would like to be drama and thanked my little sisters novia, rhica, jennifer, christine. also i have to thanked all my colleagues that celebrated my birthday. thanked azaleas to insisted that i have to celebrate my birthday :p. i gave her and jie ming trouble to vivo city just to get a strawberry shortcakes from bakerzin. coz i told her i only love that certain cake ;p hahahaha *pardon me for my "hard to please" manner ;p really, thanks. and yes! i promise a friend that i won't cry on my birthday and i'll be happy. and i did it! thanks for his support and all :) i am glad to have him as a friend! i also got to thanked my naan fellas from work place plus the other designers for the lovely wood box. i love it so much! thanked for all the wishes be it from instagram, sms, watzapp, gtalk, phone call, facebook, twitter, or face to face. really happy to know i still have lots of lovely friends surround me. aside from all the pain that i got this past months. i begin to feel more relax.

blog, i received my last and touching card and gift from my lovely sister and brother. i have to said i feel touched and i feel that i am the luckiest girl just because i know they love me so much! :) flash back, i still remember my breakdown call that i made few times a day and a week. thanked them not to judge me and instead support me and still love me. too much drama past months. i wish no more for them. i have to thanked the pain that caused by a person. now i just need to move forward! strong and excited! :) *whatever that means yes, i need to.

AT LAST! LION KING SHOW IS GREAT! eventho i am alone watching it but i feel great about it. (but i got to admit i wish i am watching it and sharing it with someone) plus a "surprise/should i said spot check" after the show! i am kinda speechless. i couldn't say how happy i am and how lucky i am.

*yes, i might not be ready to love again so soon but one day i will when the time is right and when i meet someone right to be with.

. anything .

hey, blog! finally i have updated one of our company's website and it's online now. yes, i haven't done much for the design. only editing here and there. adding stuff. seems simple and easy but for me it wasn't that simple. for it is my first time doing this sort of stuff.

you know how i seems like pushing my friends away. yes, i rather spent my time alone or with one or two of them. my movies buddy and my dinner buddy. since i came back here i haven't meet mike, jz and allex yet. yeah, they were my play mate before i started my job. :) seems like everyone is busy fighting for the future! which is nice. no more playing. so, yeah alvin is my dinner buddy recently. i hope bev won't mind ;p. sometimes, i just don't like to eat alone. i was supposed to eat dinner with alvin but he has something up suddenly yeah, david asked him and sacha out. bleah... and i ended up having dinner with them. it was good to finally met sacha again!

he was and still is one of my fave lecturer back then. he is a good lecturer. i wish him well for the job hunting! :) he should come here to the company that i am working now :p. oh yeah! and i ended up watching xmen with them. it seems like this season is super hero season. which is hmmm i don't really interested on them. ehhehe. but xmen was good and entertaining. haha and from few of them i like magnito and beast! aww and i like wolverine as well he looks so dangerous.

blog, have i told you that i was planning to go for van gogh at mbs with mike, jz and allex. yes, but it is not happening not til now :( and i heard from sacha and i went to my bestie google, found out yes, they also exhibit salvador dali's. oh, yes again that i saw dali's work somewhere in singapore before. i still remember i first knew dali when i first start my design class. am so going to visit mbs anytime soon!

funny that i just posted about chupa chups and you know, dali is the one who design chupa chups logo in 1969.

. woosh .

blog blog... it is painful for someone you love to said mean thing about you. but all for our own good no? huff... okay, move on. be it so :) i don't want to be that weird crazy girl. i do mean it this time. this few days being with my momma and pop and also my grandmama makes me feel so so so happy! thanks God to bring me my parents and my sisters. i told my mom " ma, i am grateful that i had two sisters" i really do mean it. only three of us here at home so quiet.

lots of things happening those one week. happy, sad, even shocking! geezz!!! really! welcome to my hometown. where lots of scenes happening. lols. i saw 3 shocking scenes.

anyway, i had fun! went to run, lake toba, driving again!, eat lots of food, meeting my grandmama, sleep together with her holding hand. hahaha. that was fun!

here you go blog, pictures!

. doddling while studying .

. the yummiest curry! .
. old text book .

yeap! we are going to lake toba! but before that, we are going to visit my lovely dearest grandmama ;) on our way, i watched korean drama lols! i love that guy on the screen hahaha



we reached grandmama home, i feel sad. my grandpapa isn't here anymore :(

. some dolls from my grandmama's room .

because of the last minute going to lake toba, the hotel room is full! huff, but this room is not too bad! :)



. my dad woke me up just to watch this view, he says " wake up! or the scenery is going to sleep soon" i don't understand that and i just woke up.

. funny my dad and my grandmama have the same pose .


here you go this is lake toba, blog.

. lols! i saw this very interesting object! GUR CI sunglasses tag ;p .


. people selling fruits .
. isn't village life nice? :) .

. the fisherman ready to catch those fishes, my dad stop the car and bring me down to look at them closer.

. people in the village dry fishes .

on our way home we drop at few places where we can find wild monkeys hanging on the trees, standing on the road side.

. monkey monkey! we gave banana to those monkeys! excited! .

. don't laugh at me but i found it interesting with nowadays technology the camera is attached on the back of the car, it shows grid like some sort of perspective when you change it to reverse mode the camera is on.

after we reached medan (my hometown) my dad get our car to the auto car wash woohooo i always love it.
. yes, i love auto car washing. i feel like i am inside a giant washing machine .
. i mistook that white thingy as rubbish hanging on the tress but those actually birds, pretty birds .
. am so in love with my dad's dr. m i told him and he strike a pose .
. rujak .

. sate padang.