i start to promise myself that i will treat this poor not so little me better. so what, if other better than me? that's why i need to work harder and try to push all personal matter aside! sometimes, it hurts when you care too much about someone but they are not doing the same thing. well, i learn that i was wrong. we won't feel hurt if we didn't expect anything in return. so.. yeah i did expect something in return from certain people. that's why i am wrong here. i am not suppose to do that and it hurts when someone, really close to you said that they wanted to write an article about you but don't know how to... i always think, when you close to someone, what you remember about them are all the good stuff.. the happi and nice moment that you guys had but seems like... me and that certain friend we don't have that.. at least that friend doesn't have what i felt. it hurts but it's okay. it doesn't really matter anymore anyway... because you know what is wrong with you.
forgive me for my sudden emo. i hate that i feel this way. that is why i must change! try to be better and one day there's someone who will really appreciate me.
btw.. i really miss marsha :( i wouldn't be like this if she is here. she is a really good friend ever to me.
thank God for all He gave to me as well as those days when i felt hurt and stress and confuse. anything happened for a reason.