Friday, August 27, 2010
.down down down but not to the rabbit whole coz this is not wonderland.
forgive me to being down again today. hmm guess my feeling is really like a stock market.... it goes.... up and down and down and up (-.-)" that is not good. that's affected the people around me. hmm but i couldn't help it. i suddenly feel so dummy. i have finished my 3 years graphic design course and i got my bachelors degree. after that, i continue my 1 year diploma course in 3d character animation. but i never use them =( and i kept on saying i'll tweak my demoreel, will update it and will make new pieces of new designs but it never happened. i don't know what happened to me. if you ask me am i passionate about all of them? of course i am! i love them with all my heart? what are you talking about of course! i love designs, i love animation, i love art very much. but why can't i be more focus and just do it! well, i don't know i am confuse as well. i don't know where to start and i almost lost my self confidence. i hate that. when i see people's works i feel so down. i am nothing to compare. oh, hell sisca!! please wake up! you are not that bad! you just didn't put all your effort on each of them. you need to work harder like the rest. wake up, please! *slap *ouch that hurts! have i ever told you, i keep on sending job application... well, i stopped now coz i see there is no light! but i couldn't buried myself in this job that i couldn't even enjoy it much. what do you think guys? can anyone of you give me some encouragement? i need that now =(